The never ending finish line

I do!  I do!

Hello tumblr world.  Long time no post (well more then pictures of my bebe, he is pretty cute, huh?).

Run on over to my new blog site, and like it?  Please <3

www.thefitwifelife.com

Make it happen xoxo

Changes with my body with this pregnancy have been the scariest thing to me.  I know baby is going to wake me up every 2 hours, I’m going to have a hard time getting an hour of sleep, let a long a 30minute HITT workout in.  Yet I’m still determined that I will get by body back to where it was, pre-pregnancy.  I’m not someone who shows off their body but I was taking some pictures when I was at my fittest (not my thinnest) but the body I liked to rock out at the gym at a solid 135-140 lbs.  Not my skinny fat body of 128lbs.  Looking back at the pictures, I’m pretty sad that I didn’t appreciate my body and all it did for me until I saw it starting to add lbs because of my pregnancy (I won’t even get on the scale right now, although I know I’m not huge, I feel a the difference and don’t want to give myself any harder of a time then I already am). Pregnancy was always something amazing and beautiful to me when I would watch other people go through it.   I think pregnant people are glowing and beautiful yet I can’t seem to feel that way about myself (at all), but that isn’t anything new (as I just recognized) as looking back at my pictures of my pretty rocking body, I wasn’t satisfied. 

God is giving me the opportunity to appreciate my body for what it can do, yet I kept punishing myself instead of giving myself credit.  I knew it could play basketball and recover from ACL surgery and return pounding the pavement years later, to run a marathon (and several races/and training before that!).  I knew I could kick ass in 5k’s and lift with better form then the “meat head” boys at my gym.  I knew that my flexibility was pretty amazing and my fellow yogis would complement me on being a “natural” yet I wasn’t satisfied.  I really did have endurance, strength and flexibility, yet still I didn’t give myself credit, I just always felt I could be better.  It is OK to not be satisfied but you should appreciate your body, and give yourself credit for your hard work.  I mean I did lose about 40 lbs a few years ago and kept it off until this new little journey. 

Now God is telling me, you did all that, now watch what an amazing natural thing your body is MEANT to do.  I need to view this as another marathon.  The training is about the same, because I can tell (energy wise) my body is working and working hard to make my little nudger a happy healthy baby and just like in training I need to excersize and eat well to keep my son and myself healthy.  It also is going to take a decent amount of time for my body and my son (Evan) to be where he needs to be on D day (training for a marathon, is like a job and so is growing a baby!). Even further related is the recovery after a marathon (just as important as the training) and the back to running after brief break.  Really, that is how I’m viewing this experience.  Training, marathon day, recovery & getting back on the horse, the harder and more dedicated you are now, in training, the easier the next steps are because your body is ready.   Sure, getting back my body will take some time, but I have to give myself credit for where I am now.  I need to be proud of where I am and accept the compliments that my belly is getting bigger, because THAT IS WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED to do, and I am going to keep doing what I’m doing because most of my pre-prego pants still fit (well they don’t button of course, haha) and just keep reminding myself when I want extra chocolate that I don’t need it.  Evan is perfectly happy with what I eat, and to those who tell me “Oh go ahead, have a burger, some fries and a cookie” I’ll tell you what… you GO AHEAD and HAVE A BURGER, I’ll have a salad beast (www.fitnessista.com) instead, thanks.  After all, my baby eats what I eat, and he should become a fan of healthy eating because pre-pregnancy, pregnancy and (will be) post-pregnancy – what I have in my house is healthy eats (and dark chocolate blueberry/acai berries from Costco).  Not to mention, I plan to breast feed AND make home-made baby food.

So today, I’m taking my second love (Hector the Hubby is my first) Oso (god I love my dog) for a walk/jog combo and some at home weights, followed by some healthy eats that I plan to share, along with my pre-prego bod, my current prego bod and hopefully a review on my new Pilates DVD (realistically that may come later).

The Future: <3

First off let me start by saying… October has been the BEST month of my life.  I am so excited for the future, but am really going to squeeze the enjoyment out of every minute of the present.

As you saw in my last post… I was going to run the Chicago Marathon, and I DID!!  My goodness, was that an experience.  I cannot even express the emotion that goes into something like that and I want to break it down for you.

Miles 1-5 are the most fun.  There are a MILLION people (literally), all over… tons of fellow runners & super fantastic spectators with AWESOME signs.  It is just amazing to take it all in, your nerves are at ease and the excitement of all around you is electrifying.  

Miles 5-10 are still fun.  Your body is telling you “this isn’t bad, you GOT this, you OWN this.”  You have gone through Lincoln Park and Boys Town… You hear people screaming and get the sun in your face (and my sunburn story begins…).  But such a good time!

Mile 10.5 my little toe on my right foot is stinging… I think to myself “AMAZING, I HAVE A BLISTER FORMING”…

Mile 13.1 HALF WAY!!  At this point, I can totally tell I have a blister on my baby toe, but I feel good quite warm, but good.  I didn’t have the “this is only half way, ughhhh” feeling.  

Miles 13.1 - 17 were OK but at Mile 17 I stopped with my friend, at an aid station.  She needed her knee looked at and I figured, lets get a bandaid for my toe.  Being an athlete I had one side of my head thinking, “This is a HORRIBLE idea, Jen… you know your foot will swell… Just keep your shoe on!” while the other was thinking “Jen you have 9 plus miles left and this hurts SO BAD, could it really hurt more?” - So I took off my shoe, put the bandaid over the visible blister, but my shoe back on, and walked for about 5 steps. Then I thought… “What a HORRIBLE idea, this is FAR more painful(lol)”  So I ripped off my shoe, sock, ripped off the bandaid and put my sock and shoe back on… My toe at this point was on its way to being one giant blister… but I pushed on.

Mile 20.  My toes hurt, my head is asking “why are you doing this?” and I’m really struggling mentally.  It is WARM, this stretch is not filled with as many spectators and EVERYONE IS WALKING!  My sister promised she would meet me at mile 23… That is what is keeping me going… Nicole is going to be there.  I can do this.  I eat a chew, at this point, all I want to do is brush my teeth because my mouth is so full of sugar.  Blah, why didn’t I bring one lol.

Mile 20-23.  Probably the toughest.  It is warm, people are walking and my toe feels like it might explode.  I stop for a short while to stretch out my quads which are tight and hop right back to it.  

Mile 23.5 - the lululemon team is there, they have their super fun signs… “Don’t poop… out” - “RUN total stranger, run!” - “Humpty dumpty had his wall issues too.” — these totally made me smile…

Mile 23.7 - ready to cry… WHERE IS NICOLE!! Did I miss her?!?!  I did say mile 23 right?!

Mile 23.8 - Feeling CRAZY emotional, not sure why. My body is fine, I could keep going… My toes hurt SO BAD, but I can handle it, I see people limping…

Mile 23.9 - I start thinking to myself, good thing I don’t see Nicole, I might cry tears of joy… the tears will take away vital energy.

Mile 24 - Maybe I DID tell Nicole mile 24… Not sure.  

Mile 24.1 NICOLE IS THERE… I almost collapse into her arms I’m so excited to see her.  What a wonderful sister/friend.  She gives me renewed energy just with her smile.

Miles 24-25 - I see my family, they are cheering me on, my niece is there!  I can totally do this… Then Nicole leaves.

Mile 25-26 - At this point, I have no idea what a mile is, it seems SO FAR, but my body keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

800 meters left - I start thinking “OH MY GOD, IT IS REALLY COMING TO AN END” - go faster, go faster… I do

400 meters left - There is a HILL!?  Are THEY KIDDING right now… Seriously?!

300 meters left - I SEE THE FINISH LINE!!

200 meters left - I CAN SPRINT THIS!

100 meters left - FINISH STRONG FINISH STRONG

FINISH LINE!!!  

I started this blog because I wanted to blog about running my first marathon.  With this, I failed. I didn’t fail at running, I failed at writing about it and my journey but I guess I really needed to let my training sink in and I have done an immense amount of self-evaluation.  I also really was afraid that I might not do the 26.2 on 10/09/2011; however, that date is tomorrow and an hour ago I picked up my packet.  So, so far, I’m totally participating.  

I have (along with many people I have graduated with) been having a hard time finding a job ANYWHERE over the past almost year and a half.  I let this really affect me significantly the past year.  It touched every piece of me, including my running.  Sure I still worked out and did a ton of miles; however, I really didn’t feel I was doing enough and so I didn’t want to share my journey.  Now, tomorrow in race day and I look back and sort of wish I would have shared the pain, and the accomplishment of running and job hunting.  BUT - I’m not going to do that.  Too much of my time is spent with what ifs and I should have done things differently.  I’m not doing that anymore, I’m owning my choices and living with them.  If the outcome is not what I want it to be, I can change that by making different choices. 

Now back to the running.  

I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH from this experience so far… 

Over the course of this training with Nike+ (pretty great!! a have a watch and my ipod) and my dear dear friends, I have had sore knees, sore quads, sore calves and blisters & bruises under toenails (I know gross, but nothing a coat of seasonable black nail polish won’t cover!  You can’t tell at all!!).

I have learned running shoes, are crazy important replace.  As my LunarGlide2’s hit 500 miles, my knees were totally telling me to get something new.  

I have learned that there are AMAZING people at Fleet Feet who can tell you how you run and what shoes to wear.  They showed me Nike’s, Saucony’s, & my new Marathon Brooks shoes… They know everything there…

I have learned that cotton socks stink when you are running a lot and your feet sweat (I suggest Nike’s dri-fit’s I have them in black and white, and they are AMAZING!).

I have learned a ton about wardrobe!!  I have tried different fabrics, learned that cotton is the worst thing to work out in when you sweat a ton (thanks to some great classes at Core Power Yoga/Bikram Yoga Oak Park) because it weighs you down and you fidget, it totally takes away from your practice and your pace.  

I have learned that lululemon althletica is also an amazing store that yogis and runners must visit, if only to experience the amazing people with great stories, who know their clothes and help you find your perfect outfits… So you look and feel great for those long yoga sessions and long runs in all seasons… 

I have learned that the body can do AMAZING THINGS and I have also learned how important my yoga practice is to keeping my joints happy and my body flexible.  

Most of all, I learned that when you meet goals, you experience this sort of peace.  Sure, I don’t have my dream job (yet!) but tomorrow I’ll be completing something only 1% of the population does, a marathon…  So I’m sickly grateful for that.

Namaste! 

I clearly care way too much about what other people think.  I need to become more confident in my decisions, I need to embrace them and love them and respect them because I am the only person I need to be concerned with when it comes to validation.  With that said, I need to blog more, yay me!  

On to my never ending finish line.  The Chicago Marathon is just a couple weeks away.  I must say I thought I wasn’t prepared but this past weekend I did 20 miles, YEP 20 miles.  I was sore Sunday (the day of the run) and Monday but hit the gym hard on Tuesday because I felt so great.  Sure 26.2 miles is insane but I can handle it.  For me, it isn’t even about time, so I will not be posting mine.  For me, it is for the finish.  It is SO mental for me.  I think about all the things I rather be doing, so my goal during the 26.2 is going to be to push through the mental blocks, take in the beautiful city and appreciate that my body is strong enough to finish it.

<3

I also want to blog about running goodies.  Nike has been my source for all things running lately due to the Nike+ i purchased with my shoes.  It was the BEST $30 purchase I have ever made.  You just hook up this lil white thing to your ipod put the sensor in your Nike+ soles and go!  It is awesome and I highly reccommend it.  It saves all your workouts and tracks it through the Nike Plus website. 

More to come soon!